The Comparison Cure: Embracing Your Process

It is very easy to fall into comparison traps. We see some perfect image of who we think we should be and fall short of that. Or we see someone who is living a better version of your life—they’re similar to you in every way, but appear to be making more money, having more friends, and basically just having more fun. Or maybe you feel good about where you’re at, but then you hear a stifling criticism and realize you yet again fall short of being good enough.

Lately I’ve been spending more time than usual on Instagram, where I’m sharing some of my nature pictures and day-to-day insights.  It has been lovely to connect with folks, share posts, and see what other people have been up to, but I’ve also noticed myself getting sucked into the downward spiral of comparison. This happens when I see people who are making the impact I want to make or creating programs I’ve always dreamed of.

But nature had a different story to tell.

Photo Credit Kelly Sikkema

On a nature walk near my home I noticed some of the trees had buds while others did not. Some flowers were already in bloom while others hadn’t even started. When I went for a walk in nature, I felt inspired to view things in a different way—to remember there is beauty, tenderness in all that emerges.

And some creatures like the bees, butterflies, and frogs had emerged from their winter dormancy while I did not see a single snake. This is nature.

Everything blossoms or emerges on its own time when the causes and conditions are aligned.

Whatever you are creating, tending, nourishing—it is blossoming, moving, evolving on its own time. Whether it’s a creative project, relationship, business, or skill you’re focussed on, it has a life of its own. Take action, do what you can. Also, know you can only do so much.

Slow Bloom

Most projects and endeavors are in slow bloom, they’re the journey work of many, many deliberate, persistent steps. Sometimes progress is so slow and subtle it’s not even clear if we’re moving backwards or forwards. There are some projects, some aspects of my life that appear to be in slow bloom. The book I’m writing is a good example—it has been a year of writing and I’m just getting things ready for professional editing. Progress can feel gradual, sometimes nonexistent, yet when I look back to where the book was 6 months ago, I see the manuscript has come along way.

Quick Bloom

Other projects in the past have come together very quickly, with a burst of energy.  The Apostle Islands Sea Kayaking & Yoga Retreat is a good example.  Over the years, this 3 night trip was relatively easy to put together and each year folks are eager to sign up.

Dormancy

A dormant project is something that has yet to bud. It’s still in idea-land. There are dormant projects and ideas floating around in my heart space...waiting to bloom...a waiting that might last a very long time or maybe will never come. Online programs I want to create and the homestead retreat center I’m always dreaming of. The ideas are gestating. Sometimes we’ll need to decide when they’re ready. Other times the universe will give us a nudge.

One Step

So if it’s difficult or slow is worth the bother? If it’s meaningful to you, then take a step. See what happens. Learn from it. I think beautiful outcomes often come from a thousand tiny steps. Beautiful outcomes also come from falling in love with the process. When I fall in love with a process, when I truly enjoy in the journey, the outcome becomes less relevant. The irony is when I fall in love with the process, the outcome is usually more beautiful and wild than what I originally planned!

We can never force a project or idea into fruition. We can take a step. See what happens. And repeat. This is such a curious and mysterious phenomena, this living creative process. There are truly no guaranteed formulas—the mastery comes from tending to what we care about and letting it blossom on its own time.